Do Not Lust in Your Heart for Her Beauty
Once again, our father figure or mentor in Proverbs brings up a life or death topic- sexual immorality. This time he devotes all of chapter 7 to this vital issue. But as you read it, you'll notice it's not like most of the rest of the book, with its many short maxims. Here, he tells us a story of what he witnessed, to drive his point home. Remember the three ways people learn- the wise learn by explanations. The easily manipulated need to learn by the painful examples of others who didn't heed the explanations. And the stubbornly self-willed of this world must learn by awful experience. This is the school of hard knocks for hard heads. The wise father gives us a bit of all three ways of learning through his story telling here. Read his revealing story now in Prov.7 and be looking for insights to spare us from ruin.
Here are a few of the observations that I want to share and things I want to stress-
The young man went down the street headed for her house. It's as if he set his GPS to take him into the red light district. He was looking for Trouble and he found her. Words to the wise- Don't go down a path you know will lead you into temptation. Steer clear. We are weak and temptation is very strong, so stay away. Assume weakness and stupidity. Heading toward temptation is stupid!
He was in the wrong place at the wrong time- night-time. What a terrible time to let your feet and eyes wander. Night-time- when you aren't sharp and you have idle time, as David did on his rooftop, letting his eyes gaze where they didn't belong. Night-time- what a terrible time to surf the internet, if online pornography is your downfall. What?! The man struggles with online porn, but hasn't installed anti-porn software?! He's playing the fool. And what about his sons in the home? For this reason, we all should guard our homes with such protection as- covenenteyes.com Covenant Eyes takes their name from Job's words-"I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl" Job 31:1. We are not to look at them as sex objects, but as ones needing Christ. That's how Jesus dealt with the sexually lose woman who had five husbands before shacking up with a man (John 4).
The wayward woman had "crafty intent" 7:10 This reminds me of the serpent in the garden. Both only had crafty intent to steal, kill and destroy. Both are devilish. How interested would you be if the temptress removed her beautiful mask to reveal a horrible looking demon? Our newest member to M3, my nephew Dave DeBoer, crafted these words- "I will be wary and not tarry when lust gives me an idol to see, knowing it is a demon wanting to have me."
The woman only seemed interested in him. But really he was just the first fool that came into her web. Isn't that the way it is with pornography and prostitution as well? They are getting paid to appear interested in you. These women actually despise men and use them for their selfish ends. They are not the kind that would ever love you and be loyal to you. The woman described in Prov.7 certainly wasn't loyal to her husband. She was a smooth talker, but those who fall for her kind are ensnared, empty, regretful and suffer greatly.
She was dressed like a prostitute- dressed to kill. Bounce your eyes when you see women or magazines and billboards of women immodestly dressed. You are being played- played for a fool.
If you or another brother you know struggle with online porn, I want to recommend the following site-"We Dared" http://www.wedared.com/ Also, if you struggle with this, here's a helpful video made by Chris White, on how he stopped watching pornography. You'll appreciate his gut honesty. It's almost 20 minutes long, so watch as much of it as time permits now and the rest over the weekend. Also read Prov.6:20-35.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0w0svGD5IE
Don't battle porn alone! Share with a fellow warrior, such a men in your fire team. Just confessing such secret sins weakens their power. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."James 5:16. New Life even has a couple groups for men seeking victory over sexual addictions. If you are struggling in this area, you know that keeping it a secret hasn't helped. Get help!
This chapter of Proverbs started out as the other portions we've read that warn us of sexual temptation- with an exhortation to be devoted to the Father's word. For if we do not heed the call to embrace God's wisdom, we will fall to the call to embrace Seduction. Take your pick- the way that leads to life or the way that leads to death. "Keep my commands and you will live, guard my teachings as the apple of your eye...write them on the tablet of your heart." 7:2-3. A good place to start is to write them on the tablet, smart phone, or MP3 card of your choice. Then pray and praise those words into your heart and pass them on to others.
1.-Write on your MP3 card and on the tablet of your heart, "I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl" Job 31:1. This verse may be very convicting at first and then very empowering.
2.-What's something you want to share from all that we've covered today?
Thanks to several of you who very vulnerably shared a couple days ago about your downfall into adultery. Your names will be deleted, but your powerful stories repeated to help many others in the future in M3.
Announcements
We know the enemy wants to destroy our marriages. That's why we want to offer an upcoming cook-out for our M3 couples and guests, culminating with a great, 30 minute video on The Art of Marriage. More info coming to you soon.
We know the enemy wants to destroy our marriages. That's why we want to offer an upcoming cook-out for our M3 couples and guests, culminating with a great, 30 minute video on The Art of Marriage. More info coming to you soon.
We will have to wage war against the subtle and ruinous enemy, Lust, until the day we die. But maybe someday we won't have to deal with the cyber monster that sometimes devours your thoughtful reflections. Until then, may I highly suggest that before you hit the Publish button, that you simply copy your good work. Then if it gobbles it up, you can simply paste it and publish it again. Blog beast beaten!
It gives me great pleasure to introduce our newest member of M3, my sister's son, Dave DeBoer. Dave has been serving on the pastoral staff at New Life Oak Forest for the past 8 years. He loves the Lord and loves to help people come to Him. You will love him too. (I sure do:) Welcome Dave!
Men, you are such tough warriors! Reading of the stories you shared yesterday of times that were hard for you to do something, but your persevered anyway, was truly moving! These will inspire new members to be unstoppable in the word and in life. Almost the entire team has blogged daily this past week. Please just give Lucas and Oscar a call as they were MIA yesterday. It's an honor to serve with you. Udabest!
Men, you are such tough warriors! Reading of the stories you shared yesterday of times that were hard for you to do something, but your persevered anyway, was truly moving! These will inspire new members to be unstoppable in the word and in life. Almost the entire team has blogged daily this past week. Please just give Lucas and Oscar a call as they were MIA yesterday. It's an honor to serve with you. Udabest!
Thanks for getting your points on the board. On Monday I'll be honoring you who have been working hard at sharing scripture and encouraging others. You are doing the work of the ministry!
Speaking of the Scoreboard and our battle against temptation, here's a strategy that has helped many. It's called "Points for Progress." Here's how it works using our Scoreboard. Give yourself +points or -points in the spare daily columns on the scoreboard. Notice that there are two empty ones after the GREAT columns. (No, those haven't been reserved for NSA data gathering:) So let's say, a guy really wants to stop such things as porn or masturbation or eating doughnuts, etc. He gives himself a +plus point every time he resists the urge. That could be several urges and points a day. And he gives himself -minus points whenever he gives in. No, you don't have to title what you're monitoring. But by monitoring your actions, you will see progress. You can also use this system for good behaviors you want to start, maintain or increase, such as going to the gym. If your goal is to go to the gym M,W,F, then give yourself a +point on each of the days you went, and a -point on the days you stayed home and ate doughnuts. Personal monitoring motivates, but when you publically put your points on the board, even if others don't know what they represent, it puts your motivation on steroids. So I dare you to use Points For Progress for a month. Guarantee: After 30 days of using this system, if you are not truly pleased with your improvement, you can have your old life back.
Speaking of the Scoreboard and our battle against temptation, here's a strategy that has helped many. It's called "Points for Progress." Here's how it works using our Scoreboard. Give yourself +points or -points in the spare daily columns on the scoreboard. Notice that there are two empty ones after the GREAT columns. (No, those haven't been reserved for NSA data gathering:) So let's say, a guy really wants to stop such things as porn or masturbation or eating doughnuts, etc. He gives himself a +plus point every time he resists the urge. That could be several urges and points a day. And he gives himself -minus points whenever he gives in. No, you don't have to title what you're monitoring. But by monitoring your actions, you will see progress. You can also use this system for good behaviors you want to start, maintain or increase, such as going to the gym. If your goal is to go to the gym M,W,F, then give yourself a +point on each of the days you went, and a -point on the days you stayed home and ate doughnuts. Personal monitoring motivates, but when you publically put your points on the board, even if others don't know what they represent, it puts your motivation on steroids. So I dare you to use Points For Progress for a month. Guarantee: After 30 days of using this system, if you are not truly pleased with your improvement, you can have your old life back.
2. Prov 7:2,3 "2 keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye;
ReplyDelete3 bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart."
Great warning is given to us here as to what will happen when we do not keep His commandments and give into our own fleshly desires - we will experience death.
Just like when we train hard to run in a marathon or any race and trust and believe in our training to carry us through when the race gets tough, we also need to be filling our hearts with God's word everyday so that before the temptation even comes we will be walking in the right path and not even considering going down a path that we know may take us close to temptation.
We all know what our area of weaknesses are and need to establish clear boundaries so that we will not easily be tempted and fall.
May we all continue to keep in the Word everyday and hold each other up in prayer for our flesh is weak but God is much stronger.
Yes boundaries. I'm a big believer in them.
DeleteBrother Roger, the enemy attempts to blind us into thinking that boundaries set by God hinder us from living life to the fullest, hence Adam, Eve and humanity falling into sin. One of my prayers is for the Lord to hem me in if He must, to keep me from wandering off into dangerous places.
Delete"We all know what our area of weaknesses are and need to establish clear boundaries so that we will not easily be tempted and fall." well said :-)
Thanks Roger! Very well put.
DeleteExcellent counsel Roger! And you can speak from personal experience about running marathons. Keep running the good race!
Delete1. Did it
ReplyDelete2. You really had some good pointers on how to guard your heart from sexual immorality. I always found myself slipping at night or when I wasn't busy. I know a lot of guys struggle with this specially with the world we live in today. I know that I have to fight everyday to break bad habits. Reading the word and praying has helped me stay away.
When you have an urge cry out to Him and flee...
DeleteBrother James, I heard this quote years ago "A chapter (Bible) a day, keeps the Devil away" Also, "I know that I have to fight everyday to break bad habits" agreed! I've heard that we can't fight off a full-time Devil by being part-time Christians.
DeleteWell done James! I hope to be as strong as you with this really soon. Im glad i have a team of brothers like you to help me with the everyday struggle.
DeleteI have learned that by the teachings that I have been receiving, the lord guides me and the group has helped me stay in his word, I have confessed to things that I have kept deep down inside of me and only the lord knows how my struggles and trial and hurts really are. I have learned to put my faith and priorities in order so I can lean more on you guys and the lords word. I read this devotional this morning and how true it is, glory be to God.
ReplyDeletePRAYER FOR TODAY
Father, thank You for Your Word which strengthens and protects me. Thank You for speaking truth to my heart. Help me hear Your voice more clearly so I can live a life pleasing to You in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Good prayer Guillermo.
DeleteBrother Guillermo, I come into agreement with your prayer!
DeleteGood job Guillermo and awesome prayer. Thanks for sharing that with us..
DeleteGreat prayer, brother Guillermo. It got me thinking about the importance of conversing, humbly and honestly, with our Father, without fear of asking for his intercession. I spent too much of my life reciting "canned" prayers from memory, instead of taking time throughout my day (not just before bed) to converse with my Father.
DeleteThe woman in proverbs was brazen. I believe those are easy to spot. It is not always that obvious. I had a co-worker a few years ago that invited me to play words with friends (mobile application). I had to tell her politely that I did not want to. I didn't want to open that door. I thank God for helping me make the right decision. I know I would have made the wrong one before I started my walk with Jesus.I like how you put it Dave. Look at her as she needs Christ. If you need help in this area or any addiction, there is a Thursday group at Midway. Usually led by Ken Kalina. I also know a brother from Tuesdays group that can help. Let me know if you need help this. I can lead you in the right direction. Don't do it alone. Get an accountability/prayer partner. The most rewarding things in life don't always come easy.
ReplyDeleteWindows has Family Safety (parental controls). I use it for my kids.They don't have access to much. I get a report and can see what they have been doing.I have to find an app for their android devices. I also give them limited time. You can also do it via some wireless routers.
I pray that we all continue to seek God and not believe what the devil says. Let a brother know and get help.
Brother Sam, great job at vigilantly keeping post on the watchtower of your home and family :-)
DeleteGreat steps to protect your family Sam. I'd encourage you and all the men to check this out.https://youtu.be/oOSbUjmupWE
DeleteGood choice Sam! I admire you strength and willingness to be a righteous man! God bless
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWelcome other Dave :). It was a pleasure meeting you at Midway. I look forward spending time in the word with you.
ReplyDeleteOur spirits wants to do what's right, but we fall into temptation and the flesh takes over.
ReplyDeleteMark 14:38
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” I think most men struggle with some type of lust issues. Being a Chicago fireman for 30 years there was a lot of pornography at the fire stations in my early years. Before accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior I would watch with the other Ferman. After accepting the Lord I knew in my spirit that it was not the right thing to do, but I struggled with it for various years. I recall one day that all the guys were watching porn and i fell in to temtation.I recall having a sharp pain in my eye. I thank God for that sharp pain it was like God's finger sticking me in my eye.I could not see for about 10 minutes and through the 10 minutes of pain I thank God that he was lovingly correcting me.
"I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl" Job 31:1.
I pray for all the men of M3 that our spirits may be strengthened through prayer that we do not fall into temptation.
Brother George, great story! I thank God he hasn't gouged our eyes out!
Delete"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
Wow. He finds a way to get our attention. Just like what that guy says in the video. About the struggle. Gods love remains the same in the same struggle. So encouraging.
DeleteThanks for the testimony George. That helps me a lot and thanks for that prayer too.
Delete1. Done
ReplyDelete2. I've heard that we can't keep birds from flying over our heads but we can keep them from building a nest atop our heads. (Author unknown). I often come across what I call unintentional porn (magazine covers, billboards, commercials, internet ads, etc..... ). We have two choices, meditate on it which leads to falling into temptation or bounce our eyes and thoughts to "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8b
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5
Yes. That is one of the prayers I pray though every time my mind starts to wander. So good. Thanks Robert.
DeleteYes as the standards of our culture drops lower and lower, these temptations will grow in their public displays, good words.
DeleteVery good Robert! I will take your suggestion today and let my eyes bounce off the temptation and be noble. Thanks brother!
DeleteYou raise a great point, brother, of how pervasive pornagraphy is in our world today and do us all a service in drawing attention to the existence of such a thing as unintentional porn. The deck really is stacked against us; all the more reason to be vigiliant of our hearts, minds, and eyes.
Delete1. Job 31:1 I will have this verse where I can see it.
ReplyDelete2. Boundaries and reminders are important. I would put sticky notes on my computer like " I will use this computer to honor God." I won't use my computer unless I'm around others. Yes being alone or when it's late are great times of temptation, atleast they have been for me. Crying out to Jesus, even if it's His name when you're urged. Having an exIt strategy. Just knowing and understanding that watching porn can be detrimental to my future marriage and feeds the bad industry of adult entertainment that is destroying our youth and also it feeds into sex trafficking. So I fight to feed the Sin Monster. It's difficult. I have fell once or twice over the years, but learned from them and I went to the extremes removing things that were tempting, even so much so as to get rid of my Xbox or any device that I can be tempted with. I want purity now and in my future marriage and I know those things will only separate me from my wife rather than drawing me to her. Thanks for bringing this up Dave. It's a topic not many talk about but one to definitely share and to be honest. Josh McDowell spoke on it at Founders Week this year. The crowd was silent especially when he broke down the numbers.
Brother Eddie, I admire the lengths to which you've gone to remove temptation. "For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want." Galatians 5:17
DeleteThay video was on point. I can relate to his testimony.
DeleteThanks for sharing your personal practical strategies also I like the title the "sin monster".
DeleteYou are an inspiration and a strong man. I look up to you and i might just follow some of your reminders/suggestions. Thanks Eddie!
Delete1) Done.
ReplyDelete2) I like the succession of proverbs 7 First we have the admonition to attain and protect wisdom. Then we are assured of a specific reward of applying wisdom (protection from the immoral woman). Then we have Salomon observing one who either was not informed or had rejected the warnings of the sensuous woman, and the catastrophe she was to bring. So he enters the school of hard knocks (not an achievement). In the cover of darkness they attempt to conceal what Jesus clearly see's, she dress's to entice his eyes (may we guard the wardrobe of our daughters). It seems she is defiant and irresponsible, neglecting those that depend on her for what can be gained from reducing the intimacy of oneness to casual sex. Aggressively she forces her lips to his hoping to stir up his passions and override what little sense he may have. Religion for her is the abuse of grace, simply a placebo for her conscience, that says I have repaid God while yet she lies in debt. She does all she can to drunken the bodily senses, the eyes with colors and immodest clothing, the nose with pleasant smells, the skin with soft textures. She uses our words with none of our definitions. Her love has pleasure and emotion but no commitment, no suffering for the benefit of the beloved, no loyalty and therefore no trust. Her love is a cheap love, a knock off. She promises safety for their perversion, the strong man is gone from the house and a man of his word will not return until the appointed time. Her flattering lips stroke his ego and disarm his wits, his body reacts with instincts without intellect. Learn form his failure or repeat his story and walk the fools quest.
Brother Tony, excellent! "Her flattering lips stroke his ego and disarm his wits, his body reacts with instincts without intellect." Reminds me of Samson with Delilah in Judges 16
DeleteI got a lot out of that Antonio. Good stuff!
DeleteThe senses bring about thoughts, thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, actions lead to rewiring our standards and boundaries, which in turn turns to us declaring "this is now who I am ". This works for positive and constructive things, but most definitely for negative things that destroy our character and who we are trying to be.
ReplyDeleteBrother Daniel, yes "thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions" Max Lucado says something similar "Today's thoughts are tomorrows actions"!
DeleteThanks for sharing that brother!
DeleteIts helps to deconstruct our behaviors this way., brother. Thank you for sharing this. As a teacher, I use a method known as "backward design" to plan my lessons. We start from the desired outcome or evidence of acquired knowledge and think back through the steps required to reach that end. I hadn't thought of applying a similar method to myself. What is God calling me to do? What graces has He bestowed on me to carryout His will? How am I making use of these graces in my daily life? How is my behavior/habit/attitude/speech a reflection of those graces? Am I living my day-to-day life in a manner that brings glory to God? You definitely gave me a quick-check method for self-evaluation.
DeleteI like how Dave put it, Don't go down a path you know will lead you into temptation. Steer clear. We are weak and temptation is very strong. Proverbs 7 is one of my favorite chapters for some reason. I will have to watch this video later tho because i am at work and forgot my headphones.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very powerful blog today for it is something that i have been struggling with since i was about 11 years old. I am embarrassed to say this but i watch porn regularly. I know its wrong and i feel a sense of conviction every time after i am done. I must be honest and say that the main problem is that i like it and i dont want to stop. I guess i am addicted. I am a married man and if my wife knew about this she would be crushed.
I do pray for the desire to quit but it hasn't came yet, or maybe it is coming but very slowly. I did read alot of suggestions on here that i hope i choose to follow. My mind does not want to stop watching it but my heart does.
I watched porn yesterday. I don't know what i will do tomorrow, but today I WILL NOT WATCH PORN! I feel my willingness getting stronger the last couple days. Just like the drugs, i am going to have to do this one day at a time. I believe that you guys are not judging me and that's why i am opening up on here. Feel free to hold me accountable.
Wow brother, now that's being transparent, humble and vulnerable! I will use what you have shared to pray specifically for deliverance. What's said here, stays here ;-)
DeleteThanks for sharing more with me here Phil and thanks for asking us to hold you accountable. We will. So starting today, start using the Points For Progress strategy. The beauty of it is that it doesn't depend on your emotions. You admitted that you don't have the desire to change. Sin corrupts our desires as well. Obviously God wants you to change and that is reason enough. The One who died for such wickedness tells you to deal drastically with it- "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out" Mt.5:29. And that He said about dealing with lusting. You are right, your wife would also be devastated if she found out about this. And your beautiful children need a dad free from this vile stuff as well. That is why we will deal strongly with this, especially since you asked for accountability. So put down your Points For Progress daily and of course watch the above video. We will be praying for you and asking you daily how you're doing. Also send me a daily email of your victories and valleys. We will together come up with rewards or consequences if you don't do so. I will text you now about such, so you don't miss what we've written. You have come too far for the enemy to trap you here. God and M3 have great visions for your future, so this has to be conquered. You will. We are a team and expect you to conquer as the manly man He is all the more making you to be. Be wise and choose to hate by an act of your will what sin loves. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So start declaring, "I choose to hate this" and name reasons why. Write these on an MP3 card or such as well as verses you find that empower you. Review it daily. Attack! Fight! Win!
DeleteThat's bold of you to admit. You already becoming a manly man.
DeleteWomen are so hard for us to not given in to temptation because they are so beautiful to look at
ReplyDeleteand are sexual desires are so stoung to keep from lusting after after them. But as we study
The word of God we learn we are not to given in to are fleshly desires.
Brother John, yes God definitely made a good, beautiful and suitable companion for man "Then the Lord God made a woman" Genesis 2:22a. Oh Lord, may we always remember your commandments and be obedient to you. "You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife," Genesis 20:17b
DeleteYou are right we are not to give into our flesh. We all face these desires but with God we are able to focus our eyes on Him and not our desires.
DeleteIn a previous post, I mentioned that I still share a workplace with a woman with whom I had an affair during the time of my engagement to my wife. Though I may come across her throughout the day, and though my job may require me to work with her, I make every effort to avoid her and stay clear of her area of the building. It wasn't easy when first the affair ended and we gradually went our separate ways. For a time, I would seek her, even if just to see her passing by, but in my heart I was aware of lusting eyes and I did nothing to prevent it, nor did it stop with her. Soon after, my eyes were on others and my interactions with other women were flirty.
ReplyDeleteI saw the pain this caused my wife, whom, though she was not privvy to my workday activities, still had her suspicions and insecurities from my previous infidelity. It took me many discovered failures and painful confessions to finally commit myself to permanent change. Now, I limit my interactions and encounters with other women, namely the particular one, to those rare instances when work requires it. I do not compliment them, comment on their looks, or give them any special attention. I keep my eyes from them (sometimes having to bounce my eyes from them) and think of my wife, and how blessed I am to have a brilliant, beautiful, and God-fearing woman at my side. I have resolved to hold my wife as my personal standard of beauty, and all other women pale in comparison to her.
After years of couples counseling and spiritual healing, I was also able to trace my sexual immorality and infidelity as an adult to episodes from my childhood and adolescence when I was exposed to pornography or other explicit material. If I wasn't seeing it on the television or film, I saw it in print material kept around the house, or would seek it out myself online. Addictions like these can certainly be generational, and I see now how the generation before mine failed to protect my generation from it. Left unattended, they can seriously and detrimentally influence future bad habits and addictions, as was the case with me. For this reason, I have resolved, also, to be the man in my family who breaks the generational curses that have cost me so much.
I want my future children to grow up in a home where their parents are committed to a Godly marriage and where they are not exposed to immoral and explicit material. I want them to have a father who will be a proper role model of what it means to be a man -of-God. Several years ago, through prayer and the support of my then fiance, I kicked an addiction to pornography I developed as a child, and have been free from those chains since. I know I can do the same with my infidelity and lust, and I am taking the right steps to achieve that end.
Again, I consider myself all the more blessed to have this group and your shared experiences, brothers, as sources of encouragment and wisdom.
Amen! That's awesome man. Your post is very inspiring. God bless you and your family brother
DeleteSo glad Osiris to hear of the strong steps you've taken to guard your heart, your life, your marriage and your future!
DeleteOthers need to read and heed what you've shared.
Great words my brother. Great to have you in M3. God bless
Delete1-Did it.
ReplyDelete2- I know Proverbs 7 is talking about guarding your heart and mind especially when it comes to lust but God wants all to follow His ways and not man's ways. We have to stay committed to God and treat people the way we want to be treated. My thoughts on pornography is the people on the video or phone line or magazines are God's children and they are like stray sheep. I pray that someone will come into their life's and help them seek God. Therefore if you wouldn't look at your mother or sister in a lustful way then don't look at pornography. We are all related in one way or another.
Great stuff fellas! Thank you Dave Garratt for the the introduction! I'm excited to see how God uses this group to take the men of the Church to a whole new level!
ReplyDeleteAs I contemplate today's message, I know the difference maker for me was to completly surrender my sexuality to God by not allowing ANY sexual expression, pleasure or whatever outside the bedroom with my wife.
So glad you are on the team with us Dave! And what a great difference maker point you made.
DeleteYou already have influenced so many for the Lord. We pray and believe your influence and impact will only multiply through M3.
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love. - Proverbs 7:18
ReplyDeleteI feel young couples now a days do not know what love is. They think the physical attraction and actions is what grows a relationship. But if you can love some one for who they are and not what they can do for you then you probably have a genuine heart
You're right Andre!
DeleteIt is very hard to turn away from the temptation, as it says, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41. This is one thing I do every day, I say a special prayer to help me not to fall into temptation, I have been a victim of this before, and this is why my first marriage failed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this Ricardo! That's motivation for others.
Delete1. Did it
ReplyDelete2. We all fall vulnerable to temptation, but if we stay in the Word and live by it and absorb his wise advice - we can lean on Jesus and fight off all temptation.
It is so important to realize that prostitutes and exotic dancers could care less about you-- its your money they are after. The Love of money is the root of all sorts of evil. Everything is God's anyway we are just managing it for him. Don't continue bad habits- as we have all been turned around by the Lord and we must choose the light.
Right on Jack!
Delete1) This topic is something I've struggled with a lot. I didn't do drug or drinking but porn was a big thing in my life. I've learn to keep myself occupied to avoid the urge to do that. I will admit there have been times when I am tempted to just watch one clip. The 5 min of "Joy" brings nights and days of sorrow. I would feel so much guilt after watching. I don't want a moment of Joy. I want a lifetime of peace and happy that only God can give me.I thank God its been a long time since I've watched porn. The blog has been a great tool to help me not use my laptop for porn but to use it for Godly stuff. Also my Job making work so many hours helps also. I have no time for that stuff. Just prayer, my family, Blog, small group, softball team and My bed is all I have time for.
ReplyDeleteGOD I PRAY PLEASE HELP ALL MY BROTHER OF M3 TO OVERCOME ALL THEIR WEAKNESSES. IN JESUS NAME AMEN
So glad you are experiencing victory in this degrading and enslaving area Vince! I'd like to form a team of M3 men who have or are struggling in this area to help and pray for each other. You in?
DeleteAmen brother for that prayer... We all need Jesus daily.
DeleteBurning coals, smoldering jeans, toasted feet, and birds in a snare. I can relate to all those analogies. I'm reluctant to share this but here I go. Here is my personal testimony. Sadly, I have had to learn these lessons through painful experience.
ReplyDeleteI became a believer when I was thirteen and was very zealous and successful in ministry at a young age. But always carried a deep compulsion to lust. I tried everything to get rid of it. When I was first introduced to internet porn it was like crack cocaine. I couldn't stop. When things went south in college I turned to porn and this addiction to meet my needs. I truly loved Jesus but felt stuck. I've lost some dreams and put my life on hold. I hurt God, my wife, and ultimately myself.
Several years ago I found hope through a Christian recovery group and working a recovery program. With my totebag of bible college degree and ministry credentials, it took many years of falling on my face to let all that go and surrender to God and the program. Though not perfect, I have found so much freedom.
I still fight this battle daily. To stay free I have to realize my powerlessness and turn myself over to God and other safe people. On a weekly basis I have chosen to be brutally honest with other brothers in recovery. We need a band of brothers! I am learning that lust is toxic. It is a daily surrender to God, others, and the program.
In AA, they say, "It works if you work it, so keep coming back." Its going to take time to renew my mind of 30 plus years of trashy thinking. But its possible. I come into weekly fellowship with brutal honestly, and complete surrender, and I am learning to trust others perceptions realizing mine can be faulty at times.
If anyone reading this feels out of control in this area please feel free to contact me. Our church has groups and resources to help you. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1). God wants to get you unstuck!
That's a great testimony Nicpal. Praise God you are walking in the light and are in fellowship with God and others. May God use you to bring His freedom to many men caught up in pornography.
DeleteI echo what Dave H has written already Nic. I'm so glad you are now with us because I assure you that you will be a great help to many over the years in M3, starting today.
Delete1) Did It
ReplyDelete2) Pornography is such a lethally, effective weapon of our enemy against Christian men with internet access. I'm one of many who have been wounded by it and taken out of action for a season. Statistics are astonishing just how many men that claim to be genuine Christians are, at this moment in captivity and imprisoned by this immobilizing trap. That shockingly includes pastors and Christian leaders. We on our own, are totally powerless in our own strength and wisdom to escape this black hole. Only in and through Christ can freedom be found from the guilt, shame and control of pornography. Having been rescued from this POW camp, I never want to return to it again. It is one of the severe consequences of surrendering to lust – which is every man's battle.
Thanks Dave for your honesty here. You are so right. And God will use your wisdom and experience to help many others.
DeleteThanks for the encouragement Dave G and Dave H and thanks for being vulnerable. I am grateful to have seasoned godly men like you guys by my side.
Delete1.- Job 31:1, "I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl”. Did it.
ReplyDelete2.-God wants us to confess our sins to one another and help each other out in prayer. God wants us to stay away from sexual immorality because it will surely destroy us.
That's right Oscar. This is a safe place for you and me and everyone to do so. May the Lord keep you close to your wife and far from it.
DeleteDid it
ReplyDeleteIllusions can play a heavy game when involving in sex/making love. I too often have mixed it because because the idea I used to have about what sex and love was, that is not at all what God has intended in marrive to be. I've at times let fantasies run wild in my mind, thinking of how I used to be In that area. With courting, pre marital and now there are times when flesh hits. By God's grace and people He has put in my life i have victory to overcome such schemes. There are times i jump on ch.7 and God simply reminds me of the schemes of the devil. One of many things I thank my Lord is for the woman I have set me eyes only to and that's my wife. Another huge reason I try to stay out of pornagraphy is her for she does not deserve that and keep this covenant *marriage* sacred.
Essington brothers for this is a deep topic.
Thanks Ismael for sharing. Keep fighting the good fight! Your Lord, wife, children, your brothers want such for you.
DeleteI think we need to make sure that we teach our young boys that women are to be treated like human beings and not like pieces of meat.Growing up as a teenager in Chicago, it was considered normal among my friends to look at woman lustfully. I think with everything we see in society now a days shows to people that those kinds of things are acceptable. We've strayed away from godly ways little by little in this country and it seems like it's getting worse. Lets keep M3 growing because it is a movement to reverse the way men have been acting.
ReplyDeleteChuy, you bring up a good point. It's our responsibility as fathers to teach our children that women deserve our respect.
DeleteHi Chuy, I think the TV and movie industry isn't making things easier. We only watch cooking channels and old TV shows in my house so that I know nothing bad is going to pop up. When I was a single I even went 2 years without having a TV.
DeleteExcellent points Chuy! Lord help us to see women as you see them- made in your image and needing Jesus. Admittedly it's tough when they don't see themselves that way, but have other intentions by the way they dress. They are lost.
DeleteThanks everyone for sharing so honestly, it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I read the blog this morning and thought about it throughout the day, I realized that I never told anyone that I looked at pornography. When I was going to the Catholic Church I didn't think it was an issue, I thought I could go to confession and be forgiven but not have to change my ways. It wasn't until I started reading the Bible and coming to New Live that I knew I was wrong. I’m changing for the better but I still trip up and get draw into it sometimes then regret what I've done.
ReplyDeleteI work in the Loop and found that looking up at the buildings while I’m walking or bouncing my eyes from the temptation helps me avoid looking at women and having impure thoughts. I also get a couple daily devotionals in my e-mail that I read on the train, it keeps me occupied for the 20 minute ride and helps me set the tone for the day.
Hi George, when I used to take the bus to work I used to read devotionals or the Bible as well. It does help a lot to feed on the Word at the start of the day.
DeleteThanks for your honesty George. That's the first step to victory. You already are fighting the good fight. We are here for each other.
DeleteProverbs 7:25 "Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths."
ReplyDeleteThis is the stand out verse to me. It is a warning against putting yourself in temptation's way.
Yes Alex. If you've not been lured into the trap of online porn,, the above testimonies will hopefully remind you to stay far away from it. Guard your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life. Prov.4:23
DeleteBrother Alex, "warning against putting yourself in temptation's way". I've heard that an ounce of prevention is worth more than 2 lbs of cure. (Author unknown)
DeleteSexual immorality, pornography addiction, lustful admiration for the female body are entrapments we are vulnerable to and can be held captive to. The temptation and lure is intoxicating. God provides a way for us to combat these evil forces. Calls for us to pursue Him and heed his commands, never let our guard down to the lustful trappings of the flesh. Prov. 7:2 " keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye."
ReplyDeleteThat's right Armando.
DeleteBrother Armando, "lure is intoxicating" absolutely! Can't see or think straight. God bless you :-)
DeleteI used to battle this as a single person. I kept 1 Corinthians 10:13 and Romans 12:1-2 on note cards and kept them in my pocket. I also made it a point to leave my computer at work.
ReplyDeleteI’ve dated a lot of girls when I was in high school and university. I’ve come to the realization that outward beauty is a lesser beauty. There are lots of girls who look good, but have no inner beauty- It is a shallow beauty that is dissatisfying. On the other hand a woman of God has an inner beauty that makes her more beautiful day by day. I think about that whenever a scantily clan woman passes in front of me. My wife is a righteous woman who works hard to take care of our family and has even gone under the knife twice to give birth to our boys. That is real beauty; that’s what stirs my heart.
Great to see you cherish your wife and your kids. Your boys will follow your example :)
DeleteGreat points Ed! And just for the public record, God blessed Ed with a beautiful wife through and through. So glad you cherish her.
DeleteBrother Ed, yes "Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:4
Delete1. did it
ReplyDelete2. Once again, we see the foolish path described as a trap or snare that ends in destruction. Verse 22 says that the fool follows a seductive woman like an ox being led to the slaughter!! Let us run away from scenarios like this.
Yes indeed Israel, It starts by running away with our eyes.
DeleteBrother Israel, "the fool follows a seductive woman like an ox being led to the slaughter!!" how tragic and all too common! Thanks for setting a good example posting late into the night "unstoppable" :-)
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To fall into temptation after already being educated we are like that young man. We would lack sense to quote directly. There are animals that wait stalking their prey ready for a kill.
Ultimately there is a difference for us and we live among other humans that all are eternal and either destined for hell or hopefully for the presence with Christ. This is to say that we especially me have to be fully guarded and fully focused when the slights of the enemy and natural desires blend into a deathly mix.
One thing i have learned in this circumstance is transparency and being honest.
Yes Gary, the enemy is stalking us and internet porn brings the battle into our homes and offices.
DeleteBrother Gary, what a toxic and poisonous mix! "slights of the enemy and natural desires blend into a deathly mix." Keep fighting the good fight brother :-)
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