Tues.5.19.15...Advice for Men Wanting to get Married (Prov.12:1-14)

Advice for Men Wanting to Get Married. 

Choose wisely!

Next to choosing Christ to be your Lord and Savior, choosing a woman to be your wife is the greatest decision you will ever make. So choose wisely. Thankfully, our Father gives great mentoring wisdom in making that monumental marriage choice. So let’s look at what He says. (For you men who are already married, be thinking of what advice you would also give to single men.)

Let’s admit it, the first thing that most men think about when selecting a spouse is the appearance factor. The writers of scripture were not blind to the fact that some women were beautiful. But beauty is only skin deep. Prov.11:22 puts it this way- “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” 11:22. Pig’s have no discretion or taste to discern good from bad. So don’t throw your pearls before swine. What you prize as valuable, they do not. The dream of marrying a beautiful woman will be a living nightmare, if she has no discretion. Such a woman can’t tell the difference between treasure and trash. She is happy to feed her soul on the garbage piggish people devour. She doesn’t hate evil and cling to what is good (Rom.12:9).That’s why Scripture says we should not be unequally yoked, even if the person claims to be a Christian (2 Cor.6:14-18).  So don’t marry a woman unless she also treasures what you treasure- a life of love for Christ and others. “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Prov.31:30.

God understands your longing to get married. He is the one who said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”  I also understand your longing to get married. I wanted to get married since I was in college, but I was 33 before that day came. But don’t let the calendar rush you past carefully considering the woman’s character. Why? “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones” Prov.12:4. So there is something worse than being unmarried; it’s being miserably married. I talked to a Christian friend recently who is. Ugh! She is pretty, but pretty ugly to live with. She is like decay to his bones. Bone cancer is terribly painful. My mother died of it. Single men, I plead with you for your own sake, marry a gracious, not a disgraceful woman.  

What’s a way that you could know the caliber of a woman before you take her to be your lawfully wedded wife?” One tell is how she treats her parents. The 10 commandments declare, “Honor your father and mother.” Does she do that fairly well? How she treats especially her father is a good sign of how she will treat you. Is she is quarrelsome? There are bound to be lover’s quarrels, but does she tend to quarrel? Is she easily agitated and argumentative? Proverbs gives ample warning about marrying such a woman- “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping” Prov.19:13. “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome, ill-tempered wife” 21:19. “Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife” 21:9. Those exact words are even repeated for emphasis in 25:24. So if it seems that she is ill tempered and would rather quarrel with you than honor/respect you, then save yourself tremendous pain and keep looking.

Much more could be written and has been written on this vital subject of picking a good life partner. You single men are about to get some great advice below.

1.a-Married men, imagine you are meeting with a single man who is asking you for advice regarding picking a wife. What counsel would you give him? If you want to include a personal story, all the more powerful.

1.b-Single men, apart from looks, what criterion have you come up with as guidelines for helping you make a wise mate selection?  

2.- Read Prov.12:1-14 and pick one verse or phrase from today’s reading and write it here and on your MP3 card. Then look for people you could pass it on to.

Congrats! All of you but John were on the blog yesterday. Please give him a word of encouragement if he is in your fire team.