But you're not a fool. You are pursuing the path of a wise life, so be receptive to advice, especially from wise people. "Listen to advice and accept instruction and in the end you will be wise" Prov.19:20. "A wise man listens to advice" Prov.12:15. "Wisdom is found in those who take advice" Prov.13:10. As a matter of fact, a wise man seeks out wisdom; he just doesn't wait for someone to come along and give it. "Make plans by seeking advice" 20:18. You are an advice seeker. That's why you are in the Scriptures seeking God's counsel on how to live your life. You have in the Scriptures, 66 books written by 40 different "advisers," giving you God's guidance on vital, moral issues.
But what if the choice you are seeking to make is a non-moral issue; it's not a right or wrong issue such as, "Should I lie to get ahead?" What if the issue is- "What job should I take? Should I move out of state? I faced both of those issues a few years ago. Two different Christian ministries extended invitations to me. Which one should I take? The first one would require raising support, but was a neat position in the area. The other would provide a good salary and a brand new car. But the family and I would have to relocate to Texas. Believe me, I got advice. What choice did I make? I'll tell you the rest of the story tomorrow, but first let's talk about advice on giving advice. This will revolutionize your advice giving on non-moral issues. You will never have anyone argue with you, including family members. You will be thanked and admired for your great wisdom. So here's the golden nugget of advice on advice- don't give it! That's right, don't give advice.
Why shouldn't you give advice to people on what job they should take, who to marry in the Lord, which car or house to buy, where to send their kids to school or what to eat or not to eat? First, if you give it without them asking for it, you're asking for it. People don't like receiving unsolicited advice. I sure don't like getting it. I have a relative who loves to give such "unrequested" advice. "You should do this or you should do that." I grin and bear it, though at times I'm tempted to quote the saying I've heard, "Please don't should on me.":)
So how can we help people who need guidance, but don't ask for it? Or how can we wisely respond to people who ask us for advice on non-biblical issues? Here's good ADVICE.
A- Ask questions! This is the first and foremost piece of advice that will make you revered as wise, and thanked for your helpfulness. Don't tell them what to do or give them your opinion, even if they ask for it. Start, continue and end with questions. What kind of questions? Consider the following-
D- Discover their desires. This is what a wise gentleman in Michigan asked me about when I called him regarding my two ministry choices. "Of the two, which one do you most desire to do?"
V- Value the pros and cons. Take a sheet of paper and ask them to list the pros and cons of their options. Then ask them to rank on a scale of 1 to 10 how valued each of those listed items are to them. They will see the answer for themselves and thank you for your great wisdom.
I- Inquire regarding their intentions. Why do you want to do this? What are you hoping will happen if you do this? Why do you want to buy such an expensive car? What are you hoping will happen if you get it? Is there a deeper reason why you want to get married now instead of after dating a bit longer?
C- Consider the consequences. If you pursued your dream start up business, what would happen if it didn't succeed? If you married the woman with children already, what challenges do you foresee? If you don't start controlling your tongue and temper, what do you think might be the consequences? If you gave yourself to recruiting men to join M3, how do you think that would affect your legacy and theirs 10 years from now? :)
E- Explore alternatives. Is there another way you could get into this field without having to spend so much time and money? Can you name a few other things that you also could foresee yourself doing? If you can't get a job in your field of dreams, what could you do to make money so that you could still pursue your passion on the side?
Speaking of people's dreams, always seem supportive of a person's dream, no matter how hair brained it might seem. You could honestly say to the guy, "You're a person with a head on your shoulders. (Notice I didn't day, "a good head on your shoulders":) I'm going to pray that God will guide and help you." Don't rain on their parade, their dream. There will be plenty of other people and circumstances that will do that. You will avoid a lot of hurt feelings and be admired as a wise man. And if their wild idea to start the next Facebook succeeds, you will be honored as the one person who believed in them when nobody else did. You and I know, you never encouraged them or discouraged them. You just asked very thoughtful questions. What a wise man you are!
1.- Do you recall ever being given some good or bad advice? What was it and what happened? (Even if people give you good advice, there are all kinds of surprises that can come along and make their good advice to end up looking bad. So remember my advice- don't give advice!)
Even if your older children ask you for advice, try asking questions, at least at first. It helps people learn to think through issues and that's a great trait for your children to learn. Bite your tongue when you're tempted to say, "Well, if I were you..." or "I really think you should..." Instead ask a question.
2.- Read Prov.20:16-30 and pick out a verse or phrase that grabs your interest. Now share it and some of your thoughts on it with us.
It's been great to see the way that so many of you are encouraging others on the blog. Many of you are faithfully putting your points on the board right after you comment on the blog. That's a good practice.
Announcements
Unless it's raining, I look forward to hiking with some of you this Saturday at 8:00AM. If you want to go, just call or text me. (See Tuesday's blog announcements for more details and a map link I gave.)
Sunday is our big M3 meeting! See you there in the Break Room for our 11:30 meeting. Your interested friends are welcome. A very powerful weapon will be given to you.
1. Many years I was really upset at a friend because I really trusted him and I felt he had done me wrong . I was telling the whole situation to another friend's mom who's judgement I always trusted. She told me: "never put my faith in man because you will always be disappointed. "
ReplyDeleteThroughout the years when it comes to friendships or relationships I have always thought about her advise in order to avoid feeling let down by a person, because at some point that person is going to mess up and disappoint me. The only person that is perfect and will never disappoint is God. He is the only person I should put my faith in knowing that he only wants the best for me.
2. Prov. 20:22 "Do not say 'I will repay evil', waits for the Lord and he will deliver you."
There have been many times when people have done me wrong and my first reaction has always been to think about revenge. But I have learned that nothing good will come from that kind of attitude and for the most part I have waited on the Lord. Because only He can give true just deliverance in any situation.
Amen brother roger thanks for those words they help my soul
DeleteYou are so right people will let you down, it can happen even in our own church even if its unintentional, so out on the street, job etc. I expect it all the while hoping it wont happen and forgiving when it does happen
DeleteUgh! "The best of men are men at best." Her advice to you Roger was sound. But yet we are called to love and trust. We make wedding vows and then find out that our spouse has feet of clay. They strangely resemble our own. Those closest to us hurt us most. Yet we must forgive, love and trust again. To not, creates a wall. I am not advocating remaining close to a person who isn't repentant, but love motivates us to try again, even when I would much rather punish them. Our Lord loves us knowing the pain we will bring Him. That is amazing love! Nothing you don't already know Roger, but thoughts that came to my mind.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dave for your words...
Delete1. Whenever I had a decision to make bad or good. I would go to my dad for advice. He would tell me first did I pray about it. My answer would usually be no. He always encouraged me to read his word and pray when I needed counseling. I didn't do that before and that led me into a bunch of dumb choices. I now seek him when I need advice.
ReplyDelete2. Proverbs 20.17.ESV Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.
Thanks James that's something I need to continue doing, my wife helps a lot at times to do that but I was never taught that, until I came to the lord 5 years ago, I stop playing the tug of war and listen to advice properly given like Dave broke down for us.
DeleteJames it is great that you have that kind of relationship with your father. A lot of men don't. Seek first God's guidance than back it up with your father's words of wisdom.
DeleteThat's great fatherly advice. Pray about it. I'm glad you have chosen to apply it. Your father sounds like a great man of God.
DeleteJames I like your dad. When he ask you did you pray about it or how is your walk with the Lord, enough said.
DeleteI really like the wise advice your dad gave you, James.
DeleteJames I am so happy that you had such a great dad that always pointed you towards God.
DeleteWell I have been given lots of good advice and bad advice but one piece of advice I remember being given that really bothered me a little was not to have a business due to the headaches it brings and that I'm better off working for someone and not dealing with the headaches. Now that I'm trying to succeed in making my business official in the automotive world, I see the headaches but I have learned to manage those headaches and that's what business is all about the highs and lows and the strong faith u have to have for what's better for you and your family. I have always wanted a business and have worked my butt off to do that and I will continue doing that. It's not an easy task and with the body in a little pain, it's something that I want to feel unstoppable at doing. The business I mean. I don't want to make my self believe, like I have always made my self feel, inconsistent. So no matter what life brings me I will be consistent and dependable and reliable in everything I do in gods name I will do it.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 20:27
The human spirit is the lamp of the Lordthat sheds light on one’s inmost being.
My Holy Spirit has always shown me what I was, what I have been, what I am now and what is there to come. I trust in the father the son and the Holy Spirit to guide me through you guys thanks again for all the positiveness on this blog.
some people probably knew you could succeed and were jealous, it's good you didn't litsen
DeleteKeep up the good work Guillermo that God has started in your life!
DeleteAmen Guillermo you have out your confidence and trust in the only one that will never disappoint you.
DeleteWhen I was ten years old I was asked by an Aunt "What do you want to be when you grow up Mike?" I said "I want to be the Police like my cousin Anthony." Just a side note my cousin Anthony was killed in the line of duty and we were at his funeral at the time of the question. My mother stated "No Mike I don't want you to end up like Anthony." My Aunt stated to my mother " You have to let Mike be what he wants to be when he grows up." Even at ten years old I took that advice and ran with it. Long story short I retired from the Police force last year.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 20: 22 Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you. I have fallen back on this verse many times in my life time. There was so many times I could have took revenge but God always took care of the wrong doing.
Thank you for your years of service brother!
DeleteYes indeed Mike thank you for many years of faithful service. It is not an easy job.
DeleteThank you for your service brother.
DeleteI'm glad you made that choice Mike. You served helped others in a great way. Thanks for your service Mike!
Delete1. I Remember when I was getting ready to ask my wife to marry me, I was looking for a ring and my mother encouraged me to buy $99 Cubixzirconia from JCPenney. I didn't want the symbol of my love to be a fake, so despite her trying to help me be frugal I spent the extra dough for real diamond.
ReplyDelete2. Love and truth form a good leader; sound leadership is founded on loving integrity. (Proverbs 20:28 MSG)
Good thing you chose to go real then fake. Shows true love. Good verse!
DeleteThe same friend that gave me good advice also said something stupid,. The good advise he said (when you start a new job have extra money taken out in federal you will get back at the end of the year) he also said ( GOD said its ok to steal food if your hungry) that from a man with no steady income which bring me too Proverbs20;17 Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.....and Ephesians 4;28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands , that he may have something to share with those in need..... we both studied Ephesians 4;17 thro 4;32
ReplyDeleteGlad that you are part of M3 and now you only seek advice from God and from godly people.
DeleteMy Air Force recruiter gave me good advice :) I know he is supposed to convince me, but he helped me see my other options as well. When I was done serving. I had an associates degree paid for, discipline, respect for authority, timeliness, my newborn son's hospital bills paid for, lifetime medical (VA hospital), and years after a Bachelor's paid for ,...Now that I think of it, I need to find him and thank him again.
ReplyDeleteDave, you like keeping us in suspense.
The advice I like to give is "If you are unhappy with your job, do something about it" and I quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". It could apply to almost anything in life.
Proverbs 20:27 (NLT) The Lord’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive.
I pray that your conscience is led by the holy spirit. I pray that God is the lamp that guides your feet.
Great words Sam. Very glad that your recruiter gave you good advice and that you followed it.
DeleteGlad you are joining us Ben. I'm glad Dave G. reached out to you. Looking forward to reading your posts.God bless.
ReplyDelete1. It was November of 1988, I had just turned 18. Naive, gullible and "Still wet behind the ears"! A full-time student at a trade school and holding a full-time job that also required plenty of overtime (sleep deprived). I was informed of and was advised to take a "Temporary" position at UIC by a good friend. It payed well and I figured it was only until I graduated from trade school, so I heeded his advice. Approximately a year later, when I graduated I was immediately offered two jobs, the first was with a contractor in my trade, the other was "Full-time Status" at the "temporary" position. I had a decision to make!!! Well, it's self explanatory which one I chose. Here I am 26+ years later in what was supposed to be a transitional "Temporary" job and at times I wonder what would my life look like had I taken the other offer.
ReplyDeleteOver the years as I encountered betrayals by "Co-workers", "Management" and "Subordinates" my heart grew weary and I came to abhor my job. For over a decade, I was miserable in my position. But that pain is what God used to draw me to Him. Like Joseph in the Book of Genesis, I learned to honor God regardless of my lot in life. I made the choice and I'm living the consequences of it, for better or worse! Joseph didn't have a choice but accepted God's plans and he flourished wherever the Lord had him. May we bloom as an oasis in the middle of the desert for our refinement and to the glory of God.
2. "It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows." Proverbs 20:25 Reminded me of Jephthah in the Book of Judges 11:30-35
You are a good example for me and all of us in M3 brother, you set the bar for me to strive for. Thank u
DeleteRobert, your story reflects. Proverbs 20:24 . "A person's steps are directed by the LORD. How then then can anyone understand their own way? I praise the Lord for you Robert that you are on track now to living out your life purpose and destiny.
DeleteVery good post, Robert. Your attitude about your circumstances is very inspiring. I really like how you used Joseph as an example too.
DeleteGreat words of wisdom Robert you are a great example for us to follow.
DeleteGreat insight Robert! Definitely evokes Joseph like you mentioned in your post! Encouraged.
Delete1)
ReplyDeleteI followed the advice of a successful women who worked with self directed 401ks. She had invested in a real estate syndication and highly recommended it to us. Everyone lost their entire investments when the CEO and others part of that LLC were convicted of mis- appropriations of founds. What an expensive lesson to learn from.
2)
Proverbs 20:21
An inheritance claimed too soon
will not be blessed at the end.
God has promised us an incredible inheritance, that is far greater then we could possibly imagine. I suppose that some could claim it too soon by expecting some of that inheritance now before their life journey is over. Some could try to cruise through the remainder of their life avoiding hardships and strife as secret Christians. But God intends our inheritance to be a motivator that we would wisely invest our lives in the intense rewarding work of building His Kingdom and in so doing, receive enormous dividends. Some will miss out of those tremendous blessings in the end. I love how M3 awakes us to the vision and provides a strategy and many helpful tools to fulfill God's desired destiny for our lives.
Sorry to hear that brother, so many out their have been financially hurt by the corrupt system easily available to dishonest people who are not held accountable or prosecuted. We as christians know that in time due they will reap what they sow.
DeleteOuch, my brother. I know how it feels to lose money as well. Continue to press forward, but definitely tighten your belt. A great book I recommend, "Master Your Money" by Ron Blue (christian financial planner). It helped revolutionize the way I handle finances, doing my best to do it God's way :)
Delete. - Good advise a got one time was from my dad when I applied for a job
ReplyDeleteat the steel company he worked at. I applied for a draftsman position and was given a aptitude test, they instead offered me the job of a millwright, saying my test reveal I qualified for
that position. It was a top grade job and I got tempted and consider accepting job. I ask my father what he thought and new of the position they were offering me. My dad told me it was one of there top paying position's where it required a lot of knowledge of performing mostly all of the jobs at the steel mill and would require that I work and be available to work all shifts in a short notice. He said working in steel mill was hard dirty work with swing shifts which made it hard to have stability in your life. He used himself as an example and told me when has he really been around, that he was always working all kind of crazy hours, not being with the family as much as he'll like to be. He told me it was a well sought position their and that he had given me all the information he could and that it was my decision to make, finally he ask me why am I even considering job when I applied as a draftsman, the profession I was in. Their I was, my dad planted the seed to make my decision easy without telling me what to do. Did not take the job and best advise I took because
not soon after the steel mill close up and who knows if I would have every considered or even have been given the opportunity of being in the profession I'm in now. My dad was short on words and mostly never home because of his work, but when I think and look back I wished I had listen more and soak up more of his knowledge and wisdom instead of taking the disobedient and disrespectful path I took. On this occasion, I was listening, my dad has since pass on to the afterlife about 8 years ago, he would be in his mid 90's today.
2.- Prov. 20:29 "The glory of young
men is their strength, gray-haired the splendor of old." True and tested throughout the times, I have not the vigor and strength as before and looking forward some time in future to ride in a sunny day on expressway in convertible with top down and my
hair breezing in the wind, not necessarily driving.
My dad work for the steel mill in Indiana when I was real young, I don't remember him very much( as I wipe away the tears from my eyes) they got divorced right when I need him most. You made a good choice
DeleteA man’s steps are of the LORD; How then can a man understand his own way? (Proverbs 20:24 NKJV)
ReplyDeleteThis first part of the verse is so true because I like to see a man saved, healed, set-free, disciple, equipped, receive the Holy Spirit, and serving. These seven steps are of the LORD. I like to call it, "Gods vision on my life". Because without these seven steps, it will leads us to Luke 6:46 “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I say?
Why do you call me Lord, Lord, but do what you want to do? Why do you even go through the motions is what He's saying. Because I'm not the Lord, you’re still in control.
Matthew 7:21 “Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your nameand in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Matthew 7:23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
Now this is amazing, He didn't say there are going to be a few people say this to me. He said, there are going to be many. I just want you to think about something. Where are these people that are saying this? This is just to be kind of clear here. There probably not in the bars. There probably in church. I mean, where else do you prophesied and cast out demons? Church. So, if many people who attend church, aren't saved, many people who say Lord, Lord, they say it, they literally. They aren't calling Buddha Lord. There not calling Muhammad Lord. There calling Jesus Lord. Yet, Jesus going to say "I never knew you". Here's another thing, if many people actively engaged in ministry are not saved, how many more just attend church? Every now and then. And this is what He said, He's going to say depart from me, I never knew you. I just want you know never. He didn't say I knew you and didn't anymore. Now people will say, see that proves it, that you can loose your salvation. Oh, it proves exactly the opposite. He said "I never knew you", we never met. You never been saved. Therefore, you’re being saved and you won't be saved. Because you've never had the past tense experience yet. You've never come to the place where you've given control of your life to the Lord. You say well, how can I know? If I'm really saved? It's real simple. Who's the boss? Who makes decisions for your life? If you're still in charge, listen to me carefully, you're going to go to hell. Someone needs to be bold to tell you that. And listen, when you stand before God, you can never say no one told me, because I'm telling you today. I'm telling you today it takes total commitment to receive this free gift. Hebrews say's it this way. There's a covenant, and the covenant is not enforce until both people die. I'm not talking physical death, I'm talking about you die to yourself in your spirit and your soul, and you say no longer will I live my life to please me. From now on, I live my life to please you. My life is not my own anymore. It's yoursfrom this day forward. If you have any doubt whether you've been saved or not, why would you not do it today? I mean this is an eternal question. This is eternity were talking about. We need New Life Community Church. It's a great place to be saved. This is the church our family attends and where my wife and I got saved and water baptized.
Marcos you are so right, I knew a guy that came to church because his mother did he didn't accept Christ for years, or he wasn't living for Christ in his regular walk. I just thought about this yesterday, its not how many people attend New Life its the ones that do the will of the Lord is why New Life is growing. Somebody respond to one of my post I had one foot in one foot out, he was so right I am trying to with the Lord help to change that now so I don't get pruned again
DeletePreach it brother; there is only one way to the Father and that is through Christ. Let us not have a partial relationship with Christ as the world does.
DeleteMy father, many years ago, gave me the following advice: "Be a man of conviction." At the time, I was dating the daughter of a pastor at a baptist church. The day my father gave me this advice, I had just returned from attending service with her at her father's church, and was readying myself to attend Mass at the Catholic church we attended that same day. I suppose my father was alluding to the idea that one cannot serve two masters (or as we put it in Texas, you can't ride two horses with one a**). I took his advice to mean that I would have to choose between dating this girl and attending service with her, or breaking off the relationship and continue to attend Mass with my family. His words have stayed with me many years, and recently resurfaced when I stopped attending Catholic mass and started attending New Life.
ReplyDeleteIn honoring my father, I valued his wisdom, but to what end must I be a man of conviction? In my conviction to my Catholic heritage, I was starving myself of a relationship with God. In my conviction to honoring the wishes of my parents and remain Catholic, I was losing the battle for my soul. I'd like to think my father sees me still as a man of conviction, despite the choices I've made. I've chosen to follow Christ, and to grow in His Word. I've chosen to attend service where I may worship Him and strengthen my relationship with God. I am a man of conviction, for I am a man convicted to building that relationship with my Lord and savior. That, to me, is the greatest conviction a man is called to.
Proverbs 20:22 "Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, amd he will avenge you." A man who trusts in the Lord need never seek revenge. That path leads away from grace and toward foolishness. The Lord will let no harm come to those who love and serve Him. To love and serve the Lord is to love and serve all others. Lay down your sword. Those who live by it shall die by it. Trust in the Lord, and he will deliver you from your enemies.
Amen brother. And your past blogs I can tell you are a man that lives by your convictions. Stay firm to that my brother.
DeleteBrother Osiris, laughed out loud when I read the Texas saying. Thanks again for your well written insights, God bless :-)
Delete1- I have two supervisors I consider one of them to be very wise. About 2 weeks ago I sought out his advise. Thinking back on it he kinda followed the example you laid out above with the acronym. Based on previous experiences I had set 2 boundaries concerning what ever job i'm at.
ReplyDeleteBoundary #1: Do not become friends with your boss and or don't get too close.
Boundary #2: Do not date a co-worker.
Funny thing is that I felt I needed to break boundary #1 in order to ask my supervisor for his opinion because I really value what he has to say and I have seen he carries himself with integrity, all because I broke boundary #2. I had gotten myself in an awkward situation here.
As we sat and talked, he gave me some great words of knowledge and because this extends to our job I felt i could confide in him with our conversation.
2-Proverbs 20:18
Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war. -ESV
Form your purpose by asking for counsel, then carry it out using all the help you can get. -MSG
As I had stated on Monday when I first blogged here, in the past I had never really opened up to anyone. I kept a lot of things inside. Lately as I've been looking for counsel that I can trust has relieved me of a lot of stress and anxiety. This verse also reminds me of a passage I read in
1 Chronicles 13:1-4 David consulted with the commanders of thousands and of hundreds, with every leader. 2 And David said to all the assembly of Israel, “If it seems good to you and from the Lord our God, let us send abroad to our brothers who remain in all the lands of Israel, as well as to the priests and Levites in the cities that have pasturelands, that they may be gathered to us. 3 Then let us bring again the ark of our God to us, for we did not seek it[a] in the days of Saul.” 4 All the assembly agreed to do so, for the thing was right in the eyes of all the people.
When I read this I stuck out to me that although David was the king he could of made a decision based on what he wanted but yet he chose to seek out counsel. This really encourages me, it lets me know that no matter what position I'm in, it is always a good choice to seek help from people you trust.
Luis I am so happy you are part of M3 and that you find confidence to be able to open to us knowing that we are on your side. You will find that many of us have the same struggles but you will also hear how many have been able to overcome some of those struggles and I am sure that those words of advice will be of much help to you as it has been to me.
DeleteThanks bro, that means a lot to me. To have a group of guys in my corner.
DeleteThank you to all.
Great post Lou! We're all in for you. Awesome to see you open up too!
DeleteBrother Luis, I'm glad you decided to join M3 and how you've been sharing. Trust is earned not given. You've earned my respect and trust brother :-)
DeleteIf I can ask a request from you guys. Could you guys keep me in prayer? I've been praying that the Lord would open doors for me to find a new job. Tomorrow I have an interview for a job that would pay better and would free up my evening so that i could focus more on ministry and church meeting that I am never able to attend because I currently work all evening shifts.
ReplyDeleteThanks you.
Will be praying for you as you seek a new job.
DeleteThanks man. I appreciate it.
DeleteI'll be praying for you Luis. Good luck tomorrow.
DeleteYes, Lord, we ask your favor and guidance upon Luis. Open up the right door for him.
DeleteWill definitely keep you in prayer Luis. Thanks for being transparent.
DeleteI'll be praying everything goes well
DeleteThank you all.
DeleteI Pray the Lord's will for you my brother. Just continue to be the best wherever you are working! Remember you work for the Lord :)
DeleteI pray blessings upon your life brother.
DeleteFlorencio,
ReplyDeleteYeah that is some wacky advise. It reminds me of a time when my friend and I went into a sports bar by my house on a weekend to enjoy their food specials. While sitting down I looked down and noticed about $80 laying on the floor between me and the guy sitting next to me. My first reaction was "pick it up and keep it since its on the floor". But my convictions told me "no, ask the guy sitting next to you if he dropped the money". So I went with my conviction, honestly i was hoping that the guys would be grateful and say "hey let me get your drink" because i could have easily taken the cash. I guess I was a little bummed when he just said "yeah", picked up the cash put it in his pocket then turned around and kept talking to his friend because if it were the other way around I would have been grateful to that person and would at least offer to pay for a drink of theirs. But it is always better to be honest and have integrity than to cheat a person.
1) I remember having lots of trouble deciding a University to transfer to after graduating with my associate's degree. The problem was that a lot of my friends were going to a certain university. I did not really like the university; however, I still wanted to go because of my friends (despite the fact that there was a different university that would have been way better for me to go to). Well, I ended up talking to a friend about it. After I had told him about the entire thing, he told me to not make decisions based on what school everyone else was going to. Instead, he told me to make decisions based on what school would be better for me. It was very simple, honest advice, but hearing it from someone else really helped me. I was so relieved, and I thankful for the advice. The advice kept me from making a bad decision that would have affected me greatly in multiple ways.
ReplyDelete2) Here are my verses(many stuck out to me):
Proverbs 20:22 "Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!”Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you."
This is an incredibly important verse that pretty much says "Leave it in God's hands".
Proverbs 20:25 "It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows."
I like this verse because it warns us to seriously consider the commitments and vows we make.
You have a great friend indeed that gave you great advice.
DeleteI was offered a car but told it didn't need much work, well I eventually caved and had it brought to my house. Once I got it here and had it looked at thoroughly, turned out I needed a new engine, transmission whole new brake system wiring and the list goes on. It stood in my garage for about 6 months and I ended up junking it.
ReplyDelete2) Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you. (Proverbs 20:22 NIV)
Great verse to go with that story. Often times in a situation like this a person would want to seek some type of revenge or seek a lawsuit. Keep seeking to be like Christ in being forgiving.
Delete1. Some of the best advice I received was from a city worker a few years back. Being union, I know a few politicians. I would always say this politician would get me a job here or there. I know this person and I know that person but I would never get the job. This city worker humbled me and gave me the best advise. She said, "Son, you are looking at the wrong places! You need to be asking God for your new job. Ask him and anything is possible, she replied". Man was I humbled! From that day forward I ask God were he would like for me to work. Yes I have been blessed with a great job by the grace of our God all mighty.
ReplyDelete2. Proverbs 20:19 NIV A gossip betrays a confidence;so avoid anyone who talks too much. I see how guys get together and boast about the material lives. How they just belittled their wife. How the world would crumble if they were not around. How this person did it all wrong and they should of followed them. I have learned to avoid the person that is boastful. If that person talks like that about their wife, what can that person say about me if we don't see eye to eye.
Awesome testimony bro! May God continue to bless you for your faith.
DeleteI have been taught in marriage ministry to “confess my own sins.” Well, I am fairly certain that my wife would condone my writing about this. For those of you that have served in marriage ministry, I am fairly confident you have either done this or know someone that has done this; give advice that you regret. During a marriage mentoring session, my wife and I had been dealing with a company that was working through some infidelity issues and both of the individuals had come clean on some matters. Through it all, based on scripture and their attitude, it seemed that the best thing to do (and they agreed) was to work it out and push through these issues working toward forgiveness. Well, the gentleman in the relationship continued in his ways and now had ammunition to use against his wife because of the coming clean session. Later, the woman had begun to feel resentful for having heeded to the advice given. I think at that point, the enemy really begins to attack. He has people who question whether we’ve given the best advice, two individuals that now question God’s word, direction and ability to forgive and a shaky relationship between the two couples; a downright hot mess!
ReplyDeleteProv.20:16-30 an inheritance claimed too soon, will not be blessed at the end.
An inheritance is something that is typically given to someone that is at a designated age. When drawn upon too early, there are usually penalties incurred comparable to an IRA. I believe that the same holds true for a spiritual blessing. One has to come to that ripe age prior to receiving the blessing or it will not fulfill its intended purpose.
It seems like your advice was good but their loyalty was weak and their willingness to suffer in order to gain a healthy marriage was not present. Thanks for sharing brother.
DeleteSome of the realities of Marriage counseling, ouch. Encouraging to see how you and Tina step up to the plate though, instead of being nervous to counsel. You have wisdom others need to hear Mark :)
Delete1. I was given some very good advice when early in my career, as I talked to the CFO of a company I worked for. He was like a dad to me and I was being highly recruited by a very successful company. The opportunity was for me to become an officer of this company and I was confused because I felt great loyalty to my current company. His advice was to take the new job as he pointed out that my boss in my current company was young which left me. No opportunity for advancement. Also he pointed out that this was my starting point at the new company -- but it was limited at the current place. That led the way for my career to take off.
ReplyDeleteumm, great he expanded your vantage on opportunity potential. Great story jack.
Delete2. Proverbs 20:22 " Do not say I'll pay you back for this wrong, wait for the Lord and he will avenge you."
ReplyDelete1. Best advice I've received is from my HS gym teacher always telling us to give 110 percent if we want to achieve something.
ReplyDelete2.Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.
Dont fall into the trap of gossiping about people. No one is perfect. Chances are that the person your gossiping with is probably gossiping about you.
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ReplyDeleteSome of the most benefitting advice I received was from one of the managers when I worked at a aquatic park in the suburbs as a lifeguard. They told me “your no good to s if you’re drowning. I was not sure what to think of it in the beginning but it dawned on me that I should always have my training up to par while working there. But that bit of advice can be carried into anything; that we all especially in M3 should be continuously training for the advancement of the gospel and growing deciples (Multiplying Manly Men).
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Verse 20:24
We have fallen short in our own way and planning; so even with advice; the best advice comes from the Lord and that advice is from the word.
"Your no good to us if your drowning" I like that! Thanx for sharing that Gary
DeleteBrother Gary, "I should always have my training up to par" reminded me of "Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction." 2 Timothy 4:2
Delete1. Some good advice i received as a kid was to stay and school and pursue my dreams. As an adult the most recent great advice i got was from Eddie when he told me about joining M3 and Dave telling me to not sleep until i get into Gods word daily. ;)
ReplyDelete2. Proverbs 20:22 Dont say I will get even for this wrong, wait for the Lord to handle the matter.
Brother Philip, you're well on your way to becoming "unstoppable" "It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4
Delete1) Yes, bad. I was fourteen gotten into some trouble. Wanted to do the right things and was told I should take responsibility for my actions, so I accepted whatever the prosecution offered with out plea bargaining. The consequences stretched way into my adulthood. In a perfect system it would have been the right thing.
ReplyDelete2) 20:25It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows.
Consider the domino effect of choice's, and weigh not only is this a good decision, but is good in my future, what is it's cost and do I desire to pay it? Do I understand it's cost? or do I simply have passion with out understanding?
Brother Tony, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:11-14b
Deletewhen I first started trying to be an entrepreneur many people kept telling me to stop trying and just to study so i can get a career. Every time i started a new business or had an idea people said it would never work and stop wasting my time and money. I haven't stop working at being my own boss. I am successful not because I am rich but because I haven't let those people stop me. I have found God and try to follow his way. Whatever his will is i am ok with, but I will not let people tell me my future.
ReplyDelete2) A purpose in a mans heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. proverbs 20:5
I feel this is saying You can't just go and think you know everything and try to use it or teach it you have to understand it and then apply it.
Brother Andre, I admire your resolve. God bless you :-)
Delete1. I was once in a very toxic relationship with a girl. My youth pastor advised me to let her go and that she will always be chasing other guys. There is more fish in the sea. At the the time this girl was my only pursuit. My white whale. She looked more like a mermaid than a whale! Just to clarify. Oh! I wish I would have listened and been able to see outside myself.
ReplyDelete2. Bread obtained by falsehood is sweet to a man, But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel. (Proverbs 20:17 NASB)
Sin is sweet consequences stink!
Nic, your comment made me laugh - My white whale. She looked more like a mermaid
DeleteBrother Nic, thanks, I needed the laugh "She looked more like a mermaid than a whale! Just to clarify." :-D
Delete1. – As a college advisor at a community college, we have a saying “I advise, you decide”. During an academic advising session I listen to student’s goals and academic plans. I then summarize their education plans. I lay out all the different transfer guidelines and we look over at all the possible options to most universities and colleges, in state or national. We take in consideration time and money it would take to complete. At this point student pick and select their academic plans and goals. I also talk about life and encourage students to take one semester at time. My goal is to assist students meet their academic goals and eventually transfer or get credential to enter the workforce.
ReplyDelete2. - Proverbs 20:24 A person’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?
Oscar, I like your saying - “I advise, you decide”. I'll have to tell it to my wife, she works in HR and advised managers on a personnel issues but can't tell them what to do.
DeleteBrother Oscar, may the Lord continue using you to encourage and lead young vulnerable students to make wise life decisions.
DeleteThank you guys, I pray for God's guidance and wisdom in my life and in my line of work. Amen.
Delete1- I guess some of the best advice I've gotten was when my grandfather told me to continue to serve God. He is a great God. The best thing about that advice it is so true. God is so faithful.
ReplyDelete2- Proverbs 20:22 Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.”
Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.
It's always best to let the Lord fight our battles. That is another great advice my parents told me. God has more control over the situation then we will ever have.
Brother Vince, wonderful advice your grandfather gave you, reminded me of Deuteronomy 29:29
Delete1. I received a lot of bad and good advice. I actually have been talking to Wes Kennedy about a number of things, from relationships to missions to learning another language.
ReplyDelete2. 20:24 - A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How the can anyone understand his own way?
Wow. What a question...it reminds me of Prov. 3: 5-6.
I also gave Wes some advice...that he should join M3.
DeleteEddie, it looks like you're giving Wes good advice about joining M3
DeleteBrother Eddie, te recomiendo que aprendas hablar el idioma Chino ;-)
DeleteOne I can recall where there wasn't advice but it was advise was I wanted my own car
ReplyDeleteSo I asked my father for his advice on whether I should get one especially that I would own, he looked and me with a smirk and simply said "why"? He made me think for a bit and started giving him all the reasons in the world why I should get a car of my own (keep in mind this is when I was younger). The next question he was "do you think you can handle such responsibility of having your own car. And comes with maintenance, repairs, car note and insurance, are ready"? I excitedly said YES!! The end result I didn't really know what o was gettingy self into until I hot myself into it. But if definitely taught me a valuable lesson, to look at all the possible outcome whena king a decision.
Ismael, your car experience reminds me of the 3 ways of learning from a few weeks ago. Explanations, examples and experience. I learned through experience on my first car too. I wanted (not needed) a car so I bought one from a mechanic I knew. Like your experience it ended up costing more than I expected.
DeleteAhh great point brother George D. Thank you for the reminder
DeleteBrother Ismael, you gleaned valuable lessons from your experience and you're much wiser for it ;-)
Delete1 - I think the best advice I was ever given was from my mother. In 2000 I was engaged to a woman who had some issues she needed to deal with but wasn’t. One day when I was driving with my Mom she advised me to think about what I was getting into. She wasn’t telling me what to do, she just talked about her experience with my father and told me I should really think about it. I didn’t think long, a couple weeks later I told me fiancé that I wanted to postpone the wedding until she addressed her issues. After that things didn’t go well and we broke up a couple months later.
ReplyDelete2 - Proverbs 20:24 A person’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way? This verse make me think about how God has plans for us, even though we may not know what they are. We may not even be able to understand what He is using us for but by praying and studying the bible it may be revealed to you.
Ugh sorry to hear that bur through your story I truly believe God was weighing your heart and having ears of discernment.
DeleteBrother George D, " I think the best advice I was ever given was from my mother." I'm glad you can look back and acknowledge the value of your mother's advice. God bless you :-)
Delete1) My dad has always given me so much advice all of my life. I wish I could be more like him. He always seems to know what to do. Unfortunately, more often than not, I didn't always follow his advice, and usually ended paying the consequences.
ReplyDeleteIn one such instance, I found myself with a ticket for parking downtown and forgetting my time limit on my meter. $100! As I shared (and complained) to my dad, he advised me to always pay the tickets right away. I agreed, and then promptly forgot about it. A couple days later, he reminded me again, and once again I said yes, and then turned and got back to "important" things I needed to get done.
Wouldn't you know. Soon after, I got a notice that my ticket was doubled ($200) due to my failing to pay it on time......if only I had heeded my dad's words!
2) Today's readings were really great Proverbs, but one that personally spoke to me had to be:
Proverbs 20:17 "Food gained by fraud tastes sweet, but one ends up with a mouth full of gravel."
The other day, I submitted an appeal to the Cook County Assessor for my home's tax value. At the very end of the process on the website, they show all the info they currently have on your home, and allow you to correct it if necessary. Several things were incorrect on the site, but if I changed them, would increase my value (very untimely since I am trying to keep it low for Property Tax purposes). I was going to skip updating it and leave the info they have, but at the bottom it says click if you agree that everything is "true to your knowledge". I knew that I may save a few dollars on taxes, but I knew more that I was looking to please the Lord in my actions, and the savings wouldn't be worth it in the end. I made the changes, and my heart feels better! God's ways yield reward (instead of a mouth full of gravel!)!
Brother William, I applaud your honesty and integrity. You're wise beyond your years, God bless you :-)
Delete1. In my second year of real estate as an independent real estate agent, my broker at the time, sat me down and told me that I did not have what it takes to be a successful agent, because I was too nice to people and that good guys finish last. He refused to give me training or a desk to work from and told me that I should try something else.
ReplyDeleteWith much prayer and totally the Lord's blessing, within 18 months, I was ranking within the top 5% of all real estate agents in the entire city of Chicago and suburbs :) It was a miracle, kind of like Joseph, when he went from a prison cell to being 2nd in charge of all of Egypt. God gets all the Glory. God has blessed me ever since and it is now 15 years of owning a business. Thank God I did not take my broker's bad advice.
2. Prov 20:18 says "Prepare plans by consultation, And make war by wise guidance." - A person should seek wise counsel before making major decisions, but they need to be very careful of whom they ask (truly consider the source ). Ask for business advice from a successful business owner, marriage advice from a man within a loving healthy marriage, legal advice from a trusted attorney, tax advice from a trustworthy accountant, and so on...
Brother Israel, truly God has blessed you! Your wisdom displays the character of God :-)
DeleteI remember working at the theatre, and get some bad advice. I was still new to the way the registers worked. So I asked a fellow co-worker for his advice on how to go about giving a refund, he told me to just void it out and give the customer their money back. Turns out my register came up short not only what I refunded but about an extra 100.00 dollars. I was shocked when my manager brought it to my attention, I explained what happened and I still got taken off register until they looked further into the situation. Apparently the co worker who gave me advice was stealing from everyone's register. He got fired and I got my position back, I learned a valuable lesson that day. Not all advice is good advice.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 20:24 A person’s steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand their own way?